Twas The Day Before Christmas And

     All through the house, the TVs were going and the boys were as silent as a mouse. Dad had music playing from his phone, relishing in the fact that his ex-wife wasn't home. The oven was cooking lunch, so that three cute little boys could have something to munch. As Dad's voice rang through the house with each song, the kids danced around and joined in the fun, for outside and shining was the glorious sun. Cold as it was, the house was warm with love and affection. Video games were being played and tons of smiles were made. In a few hours it would be time for dinner and bed, with visions of presents dancing through their heads. 

     I don't know why I just did that, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. As you can see, I'm still a bit of a novice when it comes to writing things down, especially when they come directly out of my head. I didn't plan that out at all. It just kind of happened. As we move along throughout the day, the house is filled with peace. The kids are playing games and being nice to each other. There have been no arguments or yelling. It's amazing what can happen with just a little music and some simple quick rules for the day. That and the fact that the ex isn't home. I'm not trying to bad mouth her, but my kids are master manipulators when she is involved. I'm the one always getting yelled at when I try to get the kids to act right. She uses the excuse of "they're kids" or "they have disabilities" even though she is the one that has always told me to never use their disabilities as a crutch. Hypocritical of her I know, but you don't see half of the shit that I put up with. Once 2017 rolls around, I'm not putting up with it anymore. I'm done being the whipping boy and I'm done getting controlled. She claims that she doesn't control me, but the more and more I pull away from my feelings towards her, and the more I spend time looking at everything that is going on around the house, I have started to noticed that I have been blind for the last couple years. She has been subtly controlling me with just simple words and phrases that make me feel like I have been hypnotized to give a response for. All of that is over now. I have seen the error of my ways. Now, this isn't to say that things in the beginning weren't blissful or loving. They were great for the first couple years, but over time, between stress and kids and work, we had grown to resent each other. Things would have been a little easier if we hated each other, but we don't. 

     Moving on from all of that now. I don't want to ruin everyone's holidays by having you read about all of my problems. Today has been a great day so far. The kids slept in a bit. The ex is out and about with her boyfriend. She won't be home until later tonight, so I have all of the time in the world today to chill with my kids and laugh with them. If I can find the Christmas Eve boxes, the boys and I will do our Christmas Eve tradition of opening the boxes and watching a movie before going to bed tonight. I suppose I should make sure that the ex is okay with it before I just do it. Sometimes it seems like she only cares about herself at this point and could give a fuck less about everyone else. I have had music blaring through the speakers all day. I did some cleaning and rearranging of stuff. I'm really wishing that I had a can of Copenhagen Wintergreen or Mint right now. It's about time for me to start doing my video game thing. I don't even know what I want to play right now. I just might stick to my handheld devices since I know that if I turn on the PS3, the first thing that I am going to hear is, "Dad can we play Minecraft??" I'm not dealing with that right now. They are having fun playing on the XBox, so I will keep it that way. Just music and video games. It actually is a lot better than it sounds. I should do this every time I have them once they all move out and the kids get to visit me. Probably be the best times we will have together. 

     Well, off to figure out lunch for myself and get into relaxation mode. Love you guys and thanks for listening to my rambling. As always, smile and have a good day.

I'm OUT!!!

Wickid 

Broken Banks and Masts

     If you read my last post, you know that I was destined to go to Captain's Mast for bringing a cell phone down onto the boat. Well today was the day that everything went down for me. I was expecting most of what actually happened. Here is my tale.

     I showed up to work early like I always do because I believe that being early is a sign of competency and responsibility. Plus, I learned early on in my career that being late sucks. I was wearing my dress blues and ready to face what I knew was going to happen to me. It was all pretty cut and dry. I messed up and made some mistakes. No need to blame this on anyone but me. I was in the wrong and I knew it. I spent the morning standing since I didn't want to ruin the nice creases I had in my uniform. It was still in the dry cleaning bag from when I dropped it off months ago. Everyone that needed to be there started showing up around 0630. Now when someone goes to mast, their entire chain of command is there. The Leading Petty Officer (LPO), the Chief, the Department Chief, the Division Officer (mine apparently didn't know I was going to mast), the Department Head, the Chief of the Boat (COB), the Executive Officer (XO), and obviously the Captain. The Captain does all of the talking via a script. Yes, there are certain things that he has to go over and he can't be expected to remember all of it. Everything is prepared and the room is emptied. The cooks set up the green felt on the table and make sure that everything is ready to go. I come in and do some facing movements, tell him who I am and why I am there, and the proceedings begin. Quick backstory: I knew that I was going to lose some money and I even told a few people that I was probably going to lose about $1200. Keep this in mind.
     We go through everything and the Captain tells me what I am being charged with and gives me the opportunity to speak. I tell him I have nothing really to say because I have the right to remain silent. Everything is all formal. Yes sir, No sir, things of that nature. He then gives everyone that is there a chance to speak on my behalf. Everyone there starts with how well I do at my job and how well they know me. What they think of my work ethic and everything like that. They also tell the Captain how they feel and what they think about the reason that I am there. I mean everyone gets to talk about me. All the way up to the XO. He does his spiel and recommends that I get one last chance to provide information as to why I made poor choices during the past couple weeks. The Captain asked me the question again if I had anything else to say to help lessen the severity of my punishment. So I told him my story about what is going on with me in my personal life. He already knew it since he got briefed by the XO and the COB. I think he just wanted to hear me say it. It definitely helps when you tell him what is going on. After I was done and so stated that fact, he doled out the punishment. I was awarded (funny isn't it?) an oral reprimand, reduction in rank to the next inferior paygrade, which was suspended, and I lost $600 for two months. Basically, he yelled at me and told me how I did wrong and what I needed to do to fix it. The reduction in rank to the next inferior paygrade is kind of self explanatory. I won't lose rank as long I can keep myself on the straight and narrow for the next 6 months. That is what the suspended part means. For the next two paychecks, I will not be getting $600 of it. Remember when I said that I would lose about $1200 for this. I called it and wasn't even trying to. I was dismissed after everything was said and done. I'm now able to breathe a sigh of relief and get one with my life now that things are over with. 
     
     I got pulled in to talk to everyone afterwards just so they could see how I was doing. I'm doing fine and this will all pass. I know what I did wrong and I know how to fix it. Things will get better and I will be back to my old self. Kicking ass and taking names like I know how to do. 

     There you have it. I know you were all waiting with bated breath just like I was. Just know that I won't be doing anything to put myself in this situation again. I have no more silver bullets. No way to save myself again. 

I'm OUT!!!

Wickid

As I Stand Before the Mast

     So as you all may remember, I left you a little tidbit of information about shit that has been going on with me in the last post. What you don't know is that I am going to Captain's Mast for the second time in my career. Since you got that little bit of information, I guess that I need to give you a little backstory into the previous masting. So here it goes.....

     Back in November of 2008 while I was on the USS Nebraska, I was in my second year of my tour there. I was qualified as far as I could be at that point. I was still a Third Class Petty Officer and I was in a rather bad relationship at the time. The chick was kind of abusive and I didn't even know it. Looking back on that relationship now, I can see where it went wrong and why it was such a horrible one that ended rather terribly. That is another story for another time. Anyway, it was another long fourteen hour day on the boat. For those that don't know, I can spend up to 120 hours per week on the boat doing maintenance, standing watch, and other work related items. That's four 24 hour days, and another three 8 hour days. It's rather intense sometimes. I was off-going from duty and all I wanted to do was go home and get a shower. I was tasked with doing Diver's Tags before I could go home that day. I didn't want to do them and I was always doing them. I was resigned to just getting them done and then leaving. It took me roughly an hour before I could start hanging all of the tags. There are quite a few that I had to hang. I was going along and doing everything like I normally would. I had a routine so to speak with the way that I did things. Needless to say, the one time something goes out of whack, it leads to crazy things and missteps. I was working on hanging a tag and dropped my pen. I went to retrieve it and then continued hanging the tag. I finished all of the tags and went to go smoke. Sometimes things can get stressful. 
  
     I was standing in the smoke pit topside when I was approached by someone saying that there was a problem with the tags. They said one of the tags was hung incorrectly. In a fit of anger and stress, I ran back down on the boat and went straight for the tag that they told me about. I moved it into it's correct position, breathed a sigh of relief and then went up to Sonar. What they didn't tell me was that the second checker had already found out what was wrong and then went and informed the Duty Officer. So, as I was standing in Sonar, my buddy Andy, who was the second checker, came in and asked what the hell I just did. I looked at him funny and said that I fixed what I needed to. He got angry, called me stupid and said that he was fixing it the right way. Quick side note, when you screw up a tag, there is a procedure to fix it all. I forgot about that when I fixed the valve. The Duty Officer came up to me about 10 minutes later and asked me if I shifted the valve over. At that point, adult choices took over and I told him I did. That's when the paperwork started and I ended up in front of the green felt table. At that time, I walked out of there with a reduction in rank to the next inferior paygrade (suspended), half month's pay x2 (suspended), and seven days restriction. I was confined to the boat for seven whole days. I turned that into a huge joke for my benefit. I called the submarine my MBDMSM, also known as my Multi-Billion Dollar Mobile Submersible Mansion. It gave everyone a laugh. There you have it. That is the story of my first Captain's Mast and how well it went because I told the truth. 

     Fast forward to this masting. On the 30th of November (weird month for me apparently), I was down on the boat for duty. We have one car currently so I have to find rides and stuff to get to and from work. I carry my phone on me. I'm not supposed to. I got caught with it. I attempted to play it off with saying that my kids put it in my bag without me knowing it. Nobody bought it. Now, I had to redo my statement and then I spent Thursday afternoon talking to the Executive Officer. Surprise for everybody involved except the XO and the Yeoman. So I sat through that and explained everything. Told him about the divorce and Damen and Lucas being my EFM children and whatnot. I went back to standing phone watch and tried moving on with the day. I still had no idea what was going with me because I was being charged with two Article 92's and an Article 107. Now to elaborate, an Article 92 is a catch all article. The Article 107 is for Falsifying an Official Document. A little after three that afternoon, I got pulled into the COB's office. Chief of the Boat for those that are wondering. He talked to me for about a good hour about everything. Why I didn't tell him about the divorce and why I didn't mention it at the DRB (disciplinary review board) and what was going on at home. I did, however, find out what is happening to me though. Everything I told the XO changed everything that was going to happen. I'm now keeping my job and not losing rank so I won't be ending an 11 and a half year career over another poor choice. Tuesday is the day that I will be going to Captain's Mast again and I just have to make sure that I keep a poker face for what I know is in store for me. That is what I know for sure. I'm pretty sure that I will probably lose a little bit of money for a fine and that I may have to do some EMI (extra military instruction) for my choices, but I am okay with that. 

     There is my story of why I am standing before the mast yet again. I need to actually research why it is called Captain's Mast. It sounds like it would be an interesting story to tell you guys. So until next time, I am Wickid and I leave you to your reading.

I'm OUT!!!

Wickid

The Saddest Day

     This is by far the saddest day that I have had in a very long time. For those that know, I have owned a 2005 Nissan Altima for over eight years. I bought it in 2008 and I finally got it paid off last year. That car has been there for me through thick and thin. It's been across the country twice and it has lasted me over 100,000 miles. I bought it with roughly 72,000 miles on it and I drove the thing like I stole it. 
     When I finally got it paid off, I was so excited to have another car that I owned. It was mine. Nothing could take that away from me. I was so proud of myself. A few months after I got it paid off, some asshole on the highway cut me off and I ended up wrecking the back end. Tore off the bumper and broke the passenger side tail light. It was probably the maddest that I had ever been in my life. I got over all of that and continued to drive that little car. Lost function of a headlight and still I continued to drive it. All I needed to do was get that fixed and I was good to go. 
     Fast forward to August of this year. I was getting ready to go out to sea so I took all of the necessary precautions to get the cars taken care of. I got Power of Attorneys so that I knew that no matter what happened, my ex-wife would be able to take care of things while I was gone. I told her not to lose those and to make sure that she made the repairs necessary as she got the funds to do so. One day, she had to move the car because the new neighbors were about to hit my car with their moving truck. She parked it in front of the house as per the normal of what I would do. The one mistake she made was that she left the damn key in the car like I have told her numerous times not to do. The doors were unlocked as well. During the night, by our best guess, is that a couple teenagers decided to goof around and see what they could get into. They apparently got into the van and my car. Both of the vehicles were unlocked. For shame. When she got into the van the next day, she realized that it had been gone through. Her keys were still in the van in their normal hiding spot. She decided to see if my car had been gone through. She hid my key in the car and before I left, I made sure that the car was clean and orderly. When she opened my car door, it was wrecked on the inside. They went through my entire car and apparently found the key. At this point I bet you are saying, "They stole the car." You would be wrong friends. They stole just the key and left the car sitting in the driveway. My Altima is a 5 speed manual transmission. Not many people know how to drive cars like that. My guess is that they didn't know how to drive it and left the car sitting there. I was pissed! Not only did my car get broken into, but the ex-wife also lost the damn Power of Attorneys that I told her not to lose. So there was nothing that she could do about getting my key replaced. It's about 150 dollars to get the key replaced. 
     Fast forward to today. I have been contemplating getting a new car for a while now. I was on the fence about it because I really wanted to fix my car and get it running again. I knew before I left that I needed new tires and an oil change. A few other minor fixes and a couple major ones because of the age of the car. It was going to cost more to fix than what I really wanted to spend on it. So I have been getting rides to and from work for the past couple weeks until I could finally decide what I wanted to do. This has also led me to get caught with my phone down on the boat which is probably going to end up with me standing in front of the Captain. I got in trouble because of it and I have that weighing on my mind now too. That is another story though for another post. Anyway, I have been talking to a friend on the boat and he told me that he would come pick my car up and haul it away fro 200 dollars cash. It's a profit for me because I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't get much out of the car. Plus, it is more than anybody else would pay to come haul the car away. He is going to fix up the car and give it to a family in need, so I did a good deed for the day so to speak. Someone else can get some use out of my car. 
     Watching them take the car away today had me thinking about everything that I have been through with that car. All the fun road trips. All of the time spent driving it around and having adventures. Things of that nature. I have spent the better part of the day remembering everything that has happened. I just started looking for a new car. I wanted to get a truck since I think it would be more useful for me. From bad weather to being able to haul stuff, I thought it would be a good investment. Trying to find a truck that fits my needs and my kids is a bit difficult. Everything is so expensive around here when it comes to trucks. I'm getting frustrated because I want to get a truck, but it looks like with the divorce, paying for child support and medical for my two kids, I won't be able to afford a truck. Now I am back to searching through all of the sedans for something that I like. My mother-in-law is taking me tomorrow to her auto dealership to look at cars. I found a 2007 Nissan Altima for just under 8,000 dollars. Maybe if I get lucky, I can get a loan for the car and have something that I am familiar with to drive. The car looks nice and I'm hoping that it is something that I can afford. I still have the van to pay off so it might not happen. 
     Trying to find something I liked has driven me bat shit crazy so I have decided that right now I need to just not look for something and try and relax. This is why I have you guys. I can vent and nobody judges me. You all just read my posts and continue on with your days. The silent types. I like it that way.

I'm out!!!

Wickid