It's another Saturday that has given us sunshine and warm weather. It also gave me a chance to catch up on housework and other things that were needing my attention. Nothing better than getting a nice day to do the simple things and relax. As of right now, I have laundry going and the TV is equipped with the Netflix that has been streaming Fraiser for the last couple of hours.
There seems to be a method that goes with being able to be caught up with stuff that makes a day easier. I spent the morning doing a quick cleaning of the kitchen and I dabbled in the dishes. Some of the dishes still need to be done, but I moved on to the living room so that I could at least show progress to my lady since she got up around 4 this morning to go to work. It's this new schedule thing that she is trying out. It gives her Thursday and Friday off so that she can hang out with the boys and whatnot so that she isn't always at work. I enjoy it since I know that I will get her during the week instead of worrying about when her days off are.
She also put in her notice at work telling them that she is quitting in September. She will be full time for a little while longer and then she will start cutting back her hours at the restaurant and be part time. I can't wait until that happens because I do enjoy her being home as much as I like her earning her own money. The part time will be nice because she will be at home a lot more than normal. She will still have days where she works, but I think that she is going to only be working for 3 or 4 days out of the week. Once September rolls around she will go back to being a stay-at-home mom. I'm excited for that because then I know that she will be happy and hopefully start regaining her health so that she isn't always so stressed out and sore. I do hope that it will help her be able to sleep at night because she has been having issues with that recently.
I would like to make this a little longer, but I do have to finish some of the laundry and get ready to start supper. Plus, I know that the radio show is coming on later tonight so I want to be present for that as well. There are so many things that I would like to do tonight, but I do have chores that I need to get done so that everything can be done for tomorrow. With that information, I gotta go and I will be back later to talk at you some more.
I'm OUT!!!
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
As I Reflect
As I reflect on everything that has gone on in my life, whether it was good or bad, I look to the one positive thing that has rung true for the last decade. Today marks my 10 year Naval anniversary. Uncle Sam and I have been steady for the last 10 years. Last Friday, I told the Uncle that I would give him another 4 years of service. There was a little bit of paperwork, a lot of pictures and handshakes, congratulations all around. It felt good to tack on another 4 years to an already extensive contract.
Now one might say, "Josh, it's only been 10 years" to which my retort would be, "That's like an eternity some days." Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have done more than my initial enlistment if I didn't like my job and the loads of fun that can be had beneath the waves, but there are just days that are worse than others. It is that way with every job. You just have to find more good moments than bad. Ten years ago today, I was sitting in a classroom at RTC Great Lakes getting a routine "YFG" speech from a Chief. The division was fresh of the bus and working through fatigue since we had a late night flight from wherever it was we were coming from. We all arrived on a charter bus at around midnight. Most of us slept on the bus that took us from the airport to the base. When we finally stopped, most of us were ripped from our pleasant dreams of home and when we would see it again by the yelling of grown men telling us to "MOVE MOVE MOVE!!" There really was no questioning anything that they were saying. It was just do it as fast as possible so that the yelling would quit. They got us lined up and in ranks. The yelling continued and then we were marched into a room with a plethora of pay phones. As a parent of four children, I dread the day that there is a possibility of getting that late night phone call that says my child is dead. I dread it severely. It might never happen in my lifetime, but you stay on your toes. I had to call my mom and dad at like 1 or 2 in the morning to tell them that I arrived at RTC safe and sound and that I wasn't sure when I would talk to them again. I told them that I loved them and that I would see them again soon. The rest of that day was spent running to every place that the Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs) needed to take us to get us checked in and our careers started. There was no sleeping AT ALL during that first day. There was an assembly line of doctors that gave us shots, dentists that looked at our teeth, people shepherding us around to get our uniforms, and then more running with a seabag on our backs.
After a full 20 hours of being awake and moving, we finally got to set up our racks and settle down for the night. That night was definitely a night that I remember sleeping good. Things got progressively harder as boot camp wore on, but I will never forget that first day. From there I moved on to BESS in Connecticut and further on from there to my first submarine. The rest is, how they say, history for me. I have been thriving and succeeding as much as I can for the last 10 years. I have fallen and failed on more than one occasion. It's just part of life. I have met a lot of people along the way. I thank most of them for helping me get to where I am. Without their tutelage, I wouldn't have made it past my first enlistment. I consider a lot of the people that have crossed my path to be brothers and a few sisters. I served onboard a submarine with women on it. It wasn't as bad as a lot of you would make it out to be. I'm under the belief that as long as a person does their job, I don't care if they are male or female.
So enjoy the quick trip into my past and I hope that you spend some time reflecting on your past and seeing what it was that led you to the place that you are today. There is nothing better than looking back at all of the fun memories that life can bring you. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and we will see you back again for the next issue of The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Now one might say, "Josh, it's only been 10 years" to which my retort would be, "That's like an eternity some days." Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have done more than my initial enlistment if I didn't like my job and the loads of fun that can be had beneath the waves, but there are just days that are worse than others. It is that way with every job. You just have to find more good moments than bad. Ten years ago today, I was sitting in a classroom at RTC Great Lakes getting a routine "YFG" speech from a Chief. The division was fresh of the bus and working through fatigue since we had a late night flight from wherever it was we were coming from. We all arrived on a charter bus at around midnight. Most of us slept on the bus that took us from the airport to the base. When we finally stopped, most of us were ripped from our pleasant dreams of home and when we would see it again by the yelling of grown men telling us to "MOVE MOVE MOVE!!" There really was no questioning anything that they were saying. It was just do it as fast as possible so that the yelling would quit. They got us lined up and in ranks. The yelling continued and then we were marched into a room with a plethora of pay phones. As a parent of four children, I dread the day that there is a possibility of getting that late night phone call that says my child is dead. I dread it severely. It might never happen in my lifetime, but you stay on your toes. I had to call my mom and dad at like 1 or 2 in the morning to tell them that I arrived at RTC safe and sound and that I wasn't sure when I would talk to them again. I told them that I loved them and that I would see them again soon. The rest of that day was spent running to every place that the Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs) needed to take us to get us checked in and our careers started. There was no sleeping AT ALL during that first day. There was an assembly line of doctors that gave us shots, dentists that looked at our teeth, people shepherding us around to get our uniforms, and then more running with a seabag on our backs.
After a full 20 hours of being awake and moving, we finally got to set up our racks and settle down for the night. That night was definitely a night that I remember sleeping good. Things got progressively harder as boot camp wore on, but I will never forget that first day. From there I moved on to BESS in Connecticut and further on from there to my first submarine. The rest is, how they say, history for me. I have been thriving and succeeding as much as I can for the last 10 years. I have fallen and failed on more than one occasion. It's just part of life. I have met a lot of people along the way. I thank most of them for helping me get to where I am. Without their tutelage, I wouldn't have made it past my first enlistment. I consider a lot of the people that have crossed my path to be brothers and a few sisters. I served onboard a submarine with women on it. It wasn't as bad as a lot of you would make it out to be. I'm under the belief that as long as a person does their job, I don't care if they are male or female.
So enjoy the quick trip into my past and I hope that you spend some time reflecting on your past and seeing what it was that led you to the place that you are today. There is nothing better than looking back at all of the fun memories that life can bring you. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and we will see you back again for the next issue of The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Friday, June 5, 2015
Bad Things Come in Threes
Hello again everyone and welcome back to the Arena. Today marks edition number 94 and it is a sad one. So let's just get started.
There is a saying that all bad things happen in threes. I can now confirm that this is probably one of the truest statements ever spoken by anyone. I have been around and lived through a lot of bad things in my life. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. Some of the best people that I have known have been tragically taken from me either at such a young age or it was their time to go. I don't fear death nor do I fear the loss of a great thing. I have said goodbye to shipmates that were like family to me. I've had to say goodbye to family members that I wasn't ready to lose. I have been divorced once and was on the verge of a second one.
As you can see, I am no stranger to heartache and loss. I have persevered through it all because I have found the bright side of things and was able to press on with the ability to bottle it up all inside. There was always a point in time that I was inconsolable to the loss, but I was able to pull through with the help of others. I have fought tooth and nail to recover what I assumed to be a lost cause between my wife and I. This year alone, since 2015 started, has been one that has been filled with loads of frustration and heartache. Between the wife having to go through so many medical problems that it just seems like they will never end to the events of last night and early this morning, I just feel like I am numb from head to toe.
It all started last night when I got the text from my wife telling me that my oldest stepson has broken another bone. Well, two bones to be exact. According to his dad (we share custody with his dad), they were goofing around last night before bed and I guess Carter fell down just right to snap both of the bones in his lower arm just behind the wrist. They took x-rays and they are out at the doctor's office now to rebreak and reset the bones so that they can heal. He will get to spend the summer in a cast, which for him is going to suck. I know what it is like to do that. I remember breaking my arm in 6th grade. That was the worst 8 weeks of my life. Boot camp was easier that having to deal with all of the itching and being one handed. So he might have to miss out on some of the fun things that we have planned for the summer. This was bad news #1.
Bad news #2 came a few hours later when I got the message that my wife separated her right shoulder while trying to hold down her son. He was fighting the sedation that they were trying to give him to help ease his pain. For being 9 years old, he is a strong kid. I can't even say he his little because he isn't. He stands just under 4'7" and weighs roughly 120 pounds. He's a big kid for that age. I guess with all of the struggling in trying to keep him still, he managed to work her shoulder in just the right way to knock it out of place. So, after Carter and his dad went home, she got to stay and get her shoulder looked at. She still plans to go to work tonight and in the coming days because she is one tough cookie. I honestly have no idea how she does it. She is an incredibly unyielding woman. I really do admire her strength and courage to continue being the best that she can be when being dealt the hand that she has. She is currently at the hospital with Carter while they try to fix his arm. Hopefully, they won't have a need to do surgery. I will know more in a few short hours.
Around 3 in the morning here on the west coast was when I received the 3rd and final string of bad news that is probably the worst that anybody can get. I had been in and out of sleep for about an hour or so at this point because I wanted to be able to respond to my wife with everything that was going on. My phone went off with a saying from Final Fantasy Advent Children (one of my favorite movies). It's the default alert so I just assumed that it was my wife telling me what was going on. Instead it was from my father telling me that his mom, my grandmother, was gone from this world. Now, being half asleep, I was able to give a response that expressed some of my condolences. It wasn't that I was being heartless, it was just not something that I was expecting to see that early in the morning. I spent the next two and a half hours tossing and turning with my mind racing. I was unable to really get back to the REM sleep. At five thirty, my alarm went off and that was when I commenced with the numerous phone calls that I needed to make that early in the morning. My first call was to my LPO to inform him of what happened. He got the information that I needed to relay and I was excused from work. About an hour or so later, my phone started ringing again with the need of my presence on the line. This time, it was my LCPO trying to get more information from me and trying to get me the things that I needed to make sure that I was going to be alright. I gave him the same information and explanations with the information that I currently had at that time. After phone call, I made another futile attempt to sleep. My mind wasn't having any of that. It kept telling me that there was more that needed to be done and I needed to do it quickly. I had reset my alarm to seven thirty so that I could be awake to support getting Eli to school since my wife didn't get home until around five this morning after everything was all said and done. I was able to get him off to school with no issues and I have been up and out of bed since then. I made more phone calls to my Chief to give him some updated information. I called my dad to confirm some of the information so that I could pass it along. I called my duty section leader so that he knew what was going on. I spoke with my LPO again to give him a better update of the current situation since he got his ass chewed for not getting all of the information that he needed when I talked to him the first time this morning. He's new to the job so I don't blame him for not knowing everything to ask when this situation arises. He's an E-5 like I am. He hasn't had to experience a phone call like the one I gave him this morning. I even called to set up another appointment to speak with my psychologist because I know that I will need to get this off my chest at some point and she will give some insight to what I will come to experience with the coming weeks as I work through all of this.
I feel bad because it has been so long since I last talked to my grandmother. The last time I spoke to her was a little over a year ago. She was visiting my both of my uncles down in Florida like she loved doing. It was a simple visit. My Uncle Tim contacted me via Skype and my phone battery was dying even while it was connected to the charger. I sat and spoke with her as long as could because of the battery situation. My mind wasn't really into the conversation either because I was dealing with everything that was going on between my wife and I at the same time. What is really making me feel bad is that I never got to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. My phone kept cutting in and out and it completely died before we could finish our chat. She was such an awesome lady. I remember when she had her first stroke. It was the one that started it all. She lost the function of her left arm, but she always tried to have a smile on her face. It was almost 20 years ago when that happened. I remember my Uncle +Chuck Bisbee coming to live with us and sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was a bedtime ritual for me to lay out his blankets before I went to bed so that he could have a semi-comfortable place to sleep when he got home from work late at night. My dog, Midnight would keep him company. He would wake up with me in the mornings and we would ride our bikes to our respective schools. He was going through art school at the time and I was still in elementary school. He wasn't really a morning person. He still isn't if you are wondering. He is the best uncle in the entire world. Don't care what you say, nothing will take his place. Even through her divorce from my grandfather, she still managed to show her love and compassion for us. She always tried to have a smile and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. My grandfather took his own life a few years after her first stroke. Suicide and I aren't really good friends. While he was a gruff and stern individual, he was still my grandfather. I was 15 or 16 when that happened. She then met a kind and gentle man that I have the great pleasure to call my stepgrandfather. He loved her so much and treated her like a queen. He really is a great man. It was sad to hear that he had to put her into a nursing home because he couldn't take care of her anymore. My sympathies go out to him because he loved her so much. I know that she is now in a better place and that when I look around that I will catch a glimmer of her in a smile or the way my mother in-law cares for my own children. I will miss her and she will not be forgotten.
So as you can see, the bad things come in threes. I have been able to keep my mind busy most of the morning, but I knew that I had to get this out eventually. My words here can't express all of my feelings because I'm still having trouble finding all of the right words myself. I don't like seeing my child (even if he is a stepchild) hurt. I don't like seeing my wife hurt. No one likes knowing that a loved one has passed over to a place that none of us can fathom. The point of all of this is that somewhere along the way, things will start looking up and I am going to get through this. It is just something that I have to face and push through. So once I finish posting this, I will be off to continue keeping my mind occupied. I'm trying really hard to not lose it in front of my kids. I'm not trying to hide anything from them. I just don't think that they really need to worry about what is going on right now. They need to focus on being kids and having fun and playing. I can take time out for me at the end of the day when I'm in the sanctuary of my bedroom tonight. It's just really hard to keep the emotions at bay unless I am actively doing something. With that being said, I bid you all a farewell and I hope that your Friday passes smoothly and without incident. Remember to tell the ones you love what they mean to you. You never know when it could be the last chance you get to do it. Live for the day and worry about tomorrow when it comes.
*Drops the mic and walks out of the Arena*
Wickid
There is a saying that all bad things happen in threes. I can now confirm that this is probably one of the truest statements ever spoken by anyone. I have been around and lived through a lot of bad things in my life. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. Some of the best people that I have known have been tragically taken from me either at such a young age or it was their time to go. I don't fear death nor do I fear the loss of a great thing. I have said goodbye to shipmates that were like family to me. I've had to say goodbye to family members that I wasn't ready to lose. I have been divorced once and was on the verge of a second one.
As you can see, I am no stranger to heartache and loss. I have persevered through it all because I have found the bright side of things and was able to press on with the ability to bottle it up all inside. There was always a point in time that I was inconsolable to the loss, but I was able to pull through with the help of others. I have fought tooth and nail to recover what I assumed to be a lost cause between my wife and I. This year alone, since 2015 started, has been one that has been filled with loads of frustration and heartache. Between the wife having to go through so many medical problems that it just seems like they will never end to the events of last night and early this morning, I just feel like I am numb from head to toe.
It all started last night when I got the text from my wife telling me that my oldest stepson has broken another bone. Well, two bones to be exact. According to his dad (we share custody with his dad), they were goofing around last night before bed and I guess Carter fell down just right to snap both of the bones in his lower arm just behind the wrist. They took x-rays and they are out at the doctor's office now to rebreak and reset the bones so that they can heal. He will get to spend the summer in a cast, which for him is going to suck. I know what it is like to do that. I remember breaking my arm in 6th grade. That was the worst 8 weeks of my life. Boot camp was easier that having to deal with all of the itching and being one handed. So he might have to miss out on some of the fun things that we have planned for the summer. This was bad news #1.
Bad news #2 came a few hours later when I got the message that my wife separated her right shoulder while trying to hold down her son. He was fighting the sedation that they were trying to give him to help ease his pain. For being 9 years old, he is a strong kid. I can't even say he his little because he isn't. He stands just under 4'7" and weighs roughly 120 pounds. He's a big kid for that age. I guess with all of the struggling in trying to keep him still, he managed to work her shoulder in just the right way to knock it out of place. So, after Carter and his dad went home, she got to stay and get her shoulder looked at. She still plans to go to work tonight and in the coming days because she is one tough cookie. I honestly have no idea how she does it. She is an incredibly unyielding woman. I really do admire her strength and courage to continue being the best that she can be when being dealt the hand that she has. She is currently at the hospital with Carter while they try to fix his arm. Hopefully, they won't have a need to do surgery. I will know more in a few short hours.
Around 3 in the morning here on the west coast was when I received the 3rd and final string of bad news that is probably the worst that anybody can get. I had been in and out of sleep for about an hour or so at this point because I wanted to be able to respond to my wife with everything that was going on. My phone went off with a saying from Final Fantasy Advent Children (one of my favorite movies). It's the default alert so I just assumed that it was my wife telling me what was going on. Instead it was from my father telling me that his mom, my grandmother, was gone from this world. Now, being half asleep, I was able to give a response that expressed some of my condolences. It wasn't that I was being heartless, it was just not something that I was expecting to see that early in the morning. I spent the next two and a half hours tossing and turning with my mind racing. I was unable to really get back to the REM sleep. At five thirty, my alarm went off and that was when I commenced with the numerous phone calls that I needed to make that early in the morning. My first call was to my LPO to inform him of what happened. He got the information that I needed to relay and I was excused from work. About an hour or so later, my phone started ringing again with the need of my presence on the line. This time, it was my LCPO trying to get more information from me and trying to get me the things that I needed to make sure that I was going to be alright. I gave him the same information and explanations with the information that I currently had at that time. After phone call, I made another futile attempt to sleep. My mind wasn't having any of that. It kept telling me that there was more that needed to be done and I needed to do it quickly. I had reset my alarm to seven thirty so that I could be awake to support getting Eli to school since my wife didn't get home until around five this morning after everything was all said and done. I was able to get him off to school with no issues and I have been up and out of bed since then. I made more phone calls to my Chief to give him some updated information. I called my dad to confirm some of the information so that I could pass it along. I called my duty section leader so that he knew what was going on. I spoke with my LPO again to give him a better update of the current situation since he got his ass chewed for not getting all of the information that he needed when I talked to him the first time this morning. He's new to the job so I don't blame him for not knowing everything to ask when this situation arises. He's an E-5 like I am. He hasn't had to experience a phone call like the one I gave him this morning. I even called to set up another appointment to speak with my psychologist because I know that I will need to get this off my chest at some point and she will give some insight to what I will come to experience with the coming weeks as I work through all of this.
I feel bad because it has been so long since I last talked to my grandmother. The last time I spoke to her was a little over a year ago. She was visiting my both of my uncles down in Florida like she loved doing. It was a simple visit. My Uncle Tim contacted me via Skype and my phone battery was dying even while it was connected to the charger. I sat and spoke with her as long as could because of the battery situation. My mind wasn't really into the conversation either because I was dealing with everything that was going on between my wife and I at the same time. What is really making me feel bad is that I never got to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. My phone kept cutting in and out and it completely died before we could finish our chat. She was such an awesome lady. I remember when she had her first stroke. It was the one that started it all. She lost the function of her left arm, but she always tried to have a smile on her face. It was almost 20 years ago when that happened. I remember my Uncle +Chuck Bisbee coming to live with us and sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was a bedtime ritual for me to lay out his blankets before I went to bed so that he could have a semi-comfortable place to sleep when he got home from work late at night. My dog, Midnight would keep him company. He would wake up with me in the mornings and we would ride our bikes to our respective schools. He was going through art school at the time and I was still in elementary school. He wasn't really a morning person. He still isn't if you are wondering. He is the best uncle in the entire world. Don't care what you say, nothing will take his place. Even through her divorce from my grandfather, she still managed to show her love and compassion for us. She always tried to have a smile and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. My grandfather took his own life a few years after her first stroke. Suicide and I aren't really good friends. While he was a gruff and stern individual, he was still my grandfather. I was 15 or 16 when that happened. She then met a kind and gentle man that I have the great pleasure to call my stepgrandfather. He loved her so much and treated her like a queen. He really is a great man. It was sad to hear that he had to put her into a nursing home because he couldn't take care of her anymore. My sympathies go out to him because he loved her so much. I know that she is now in a better place and that when I look around that I will catch a glimmer of her in a smile or the way my mother in-law cares for my own children. I will miss her and she will not be forgotten.
So as you can see, the bad things come in threes. I have been able to keep my mind busy most of the morning, but I knew that I had to get this out eventually. My words here can't express all of my feelings because I'm still having trouble finding all of the right words myself. I don't like seeing my child (even if he is a stepchild) hurt. I don't like seeing my wife hurt. No one likes knowing that a loved one has passed over to a place that none of us can fathom. The point of all of this is that somewhere along the way, things will start looking up and I am going to get through this. It is just something that I have to face and push through. So once I finish posting this, I will be off to continue keeping my mind occupied. I'm trying really hard to not lose it in front of my kids. I'm not trying to hide anything from them. I just don't think that they really need to worry about what is going on right now. They need to focus on being kids and having fun and playing. I can take time out for me at the end of the day when I'm in the sanctuary of my bedroom tonight. It's just really hard to keep the emotions at bay unless I am actively doing something. With that being said, I bid you all a farewell and I hope that your Friday passes smoothly and without incident. Remember to tell the ones you love what they mean to you. You never know when it could be the last chance you get to do it. Live for the day and worry about tomorrow when it comes.
*Drops the mic and walks out of the Arena*
Wickid
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