Hello again everyone and welcome back to the Arena. Today marks edition number 94 and it is a sad one. So let's just get started.
There is a saying that all bad things happen in threes. I can now confirm that this is probably one of the truest statements ever spoken by anyone. I have been around and lived through a lot of bad things in my life. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. Some of the best people that I have known have been tragically taken from me either at such a young age or it was their time to go. I don't fear death nor do I fear the loss of a great thing. I have said goodbye to shipmates that were like family to me. I've had to say goodbye to family members that I wasn't ready to lose. I have been divorced once and was on the verge of a second one.
As you can see, I am no stranger to heartache and loss. I have persevered through it all because I have found the bright side of things and was able to press on with the ability to bottle it up all inside. There was always a point in time that I was inconsolable to the loss, but I was able to pull through with the help of others. I have fought tooth and nail to recover what I assumed to be a lost cause between my wife and I. This year alone, since 2015 started, has been one that has been filled with loads of frustration and heartache. Between the wife having to go through so many medical problems that it just seems like they will never end to the events of last night and early this morning, I just feel like I am numb from head to toe.
It all started last night when I got the text from my wife telling me that my oldest stepson has broken another bone. Well, two bones to be exact. According to his dad (we share custody with his dad), they were goofing around last night before bed and I guess Carter fell down just right to snap both of the bones in his lower arm just behind the wrist. They took x-rays and they are out at the doctor's office now to rebreak and reset the bones so that they can heal. He will get to spend the summer in a cast, which for him is going to suck. I know what it is like to do that. I remember breaking my arm in 6th grade. That was the worst 8 weeks of my life. Boot camp was easier that having to deal with all of the itching and being one handed. So he might have to miss out on some of the fun things that we have planned for the summer. This was bad news #1.
Bad news #2 came a few hours later when I got the message that my wife separated her right shoulder while trying to hold down her son. He was fighting the sedation that they were trying to give him to help ease his pain. For being 9 years old, he is a strong kid. I can't even say he his little because he isn't. He stands just under 4'7" and weighs roughly 120 pounds. He's a big kid for that age. I guess with all of the struggling in trying to keep him still, he managed to work her shoulder in just the right way to knock it out of place. So, after Carter and his dad went home, she got to stay and get her shoulder looked at. She still plans to go to work tonight and in the coming days because she is one tough cookie. I honestly have no idea how she does it. She is an incredibly unyielding woman. I really do admire her strength and courage to continue being the best that she can be when being dealt the hand that she has. She is currently at the hospital with Carter while they try to fix his arm. Hopefully, they won't have a need to do surgery. I will know more in a few short hours.
Around 3 in the morning here on the west coast was when I received the 3rd and final string of bad news that is probably the worst that anybody can get. I had been in and out of sleep for about an hour or so at this point because I wanted to be able to respond to my wife with everything that was going on. My phone went off with a saying from Final Fantasy Advent Children (one of my favorite movies). It's the default alert so I just assumed that it was my wife telling me what was going on. Instead it was from my father telling me that his mom, my grandmother, was gone from this world. Now, being half asleep, I was able to give a response that expressed some of my condolences. It wasn't that I was being heartless, it was just not something that I was expecting to see that early in the morning. I spent the next two and a half hours tossing and turning with my mind racing. I was unable to really get back to the REM sleep. At five thirty, my alarm went off and that was when I commenced with the numerous phone calls that I needed to make that early in the morning. My first call was to my LPO to inform him of what happened. He got the information that I needed to relay and I was excused from work. About an hour or so later, my phone started ringing again with the need of my presence on the line. This time, it was my LCPO trying to get more information from me and trying to get me the things that I needed to make sure that I was going to be alright. I gave him the same information and explanations with the information that I currently had at that time. After phone call, I made another futile attempt to sleep. My mind wasn't having any of that. It kept telling me that there was more that needed to be done and I needed to do it quickly. I had reset my alarm to seven thirty so that I could be awake to support getting Eli to school since my wife didn't get home until around five this morning after everything was all said and done. I was able to get him off to school with no issues and I have been up and out of bed since then. I made more phone calls to my Chief to give him some updated information. I called my dad to confirm some of the information so that I could pass it along. I called my duty section leader so that he knew what was going on. I spoke with my LPO again to give him a better update of the current situation since he got his ass chewed for not getting all of the information that he needed when I talked to him the first time this morning. He's new to the job so I don't blame him for not knowing everything to ask when this situation arises. He's an E-5 like I am. He hasn't had to experience a phone call like the one I gave him this morning. I even called to set up another appointment to speak with my psychologist because I know that I will need to get this off my chest at some point and she will give some insight to what I will come to experience with the coming weeks as I work through all of this.
I feel bad because it has been so long since I last talked to my grandmother. The last time I spoke to her was a little over a year ago. She was visiting my both of my uncles down in Florida like she loved doing. It was a simple visit. My Uncle Tim contacted me via Skype and my phone battery was dying even while it was connected to the charger. I sat and spoke with her as long as could because of the battery situation. My mind wasn't really into the conversation either because I was dealing with everything that was going on between my wife and I at the same time. What is really making me feel bad is that I never got to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. My phone kept cutting in and out and it completely died before we could finish our chat. She was such an awesome lady. I remember when she had her first stroke. It was the one that started it all. She lost the function of her left arm, but she always tried to have a smile on her face. It was almost 20 years ago when that happened. I remember my Uncle +Chuck Bisbee coming to live with us and sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was a bedtime ritual for me to lay out his blankets before I went to bed so that he could have a semi-comfortable place to sleep when he got home from work late at night. My dog, Midnight would keep him company. He would wake up with me in the mornings and we would ride our bikes to our respective schools. He was going through art school at the time and I was still in elementary school. He wasn't really a morning person. He still isn't if you are wondering. He is the best uncle in the entire world. Don't care what you say, nothing will take his place. Even through her divorce from my grandfather, she still managed to show her love and compassion for us. She always tried to have a smile and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. My grandfather took his own life a few years after her first stroke. Suicide and I aren't really good friends. While he was a gruff and stern individual, he was still my grandfather. I was 15 or 16 when that happened. She then met a kind and gentle man that I have the great pleasure to call my stepgrandfather. He loved her so much and treated her like a queen. He really is a great man. It was sad to hear that he had to put her into a nursing home because he couldn't take care of her anymore. My sympathies go out to him because he loved her so much. I know that she is now in a better place and that when I look around that I will catch a glimmer of her in a smile or the way my mother in-law cares for my own children. I will miss her and she will not be forgotten.
So as you can see, the bad things come in threes. I have been able to keep my mind busy most of the morning, but I knew that I had to get this out eventually. My words here can't express all of my feelings because I'm still having trouble finding all of the right words myself. I don't like seeing my child (even if he is a stepchild) hurt. I don't like seeing my wife hurt. No one likes knowing that a loved one has passed over to a place that none of us can fathom. The point of all of this is that somewhere along the way, things will start looking up and I am going to get through this. It is just something that I have to face and push through. So once I finish posting this, I will be off to continue keeping my mind occupied. I'm trying really hard to not lose it in front of my kids. I'm not trying to hide anything from them. I just don't think that they really need to worry about what is going on right now. They need to focus on being kids and having fun and playing. I can take time out for me at the end of the day when I'm in the sanctuary of my bedroom tonight. It's just really hard to keep the emotions at bay unless I am actively doing something. With that being said, I bid you all a farewell and I hope that your Friday passes smoothly and without incident. Remember to tell the ones you love what they mean to you. You never know when it could be the last chance you get to do it. Live for the day and worry about tomorrow when it comes.
*Drops the mic and walks out of the Arena*
Wickid
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