Since I last talked to you guys. Things have been going insane over the course of the last month. I have spent countless hours at work and at home like normal. Spent some nights on watch when I would have rather been spending it asleep at home. You know, the typical things that you would hear a service member whine about. Fights have been had and tears have been shed. Things aren't always sunshine and rainbows around here and we definitely don't try to tell you that it is.
I think I am coming down with a small cold or something because my nose has been runny/stuffy for the last two days. I really should go look for the medicine to see if I can kind of cut this off at the pass. I hate being sick and my wife hates me when I'm sick. I turn into a huge baby about it. I'm eating soup right now so hopefully that will help some. I'm not sure if I told you guys, but I am so ready to get back to a submarine. It's not that I haven't enjoyed shore duty because I have, but I am ready to get back to the normal routine and the job that the Navy is paying me to do.
As I sit here at the desk listening to the kid's show that is playing on the TV and the autoplay of my phone game, I am reminded that today is Sunday and I have to go back to work tomorrow. These last two weeks at work have been short weeks with only four days in them. The last week of June went by crazy fast and I rolled right into the 4th of July weekend like nobody's business. The following week, last week, took forever to get through. Then again, my week did start on a Tuesday so I guess it threw off everything else for the week that was supposed to happen. I actually felt very accomplished last week while I was at work. I legitimately did actual work. I didn't go down to the boat or anything, but I did do a lot of paperwork and the turning in of parts. Then I have spent pretty much the last two days doing virtually nothing. I have dishes and such, but nothing to major. Last Sunday I went all hog wild on the house and cleaned pretty much everything. It was nuts!!
Last night was pretty awesome for all of the boys. We were listening to the live broadcast that my uncle does on a weekly basis and he did a few shoutouts for them and got them to dance. Last night was also the first time that they have gotten to stay up and hear the whole show. Normally, I just put it on and only turn it loud enough for me to hear because I can escape through the music to a happy place. Well, I was drowning the babies last night (bath night) and so I put it on so that I could listen to it while I was tending to them. Needless to say, we stayed up and listened to the whole show. They enjoyed it because they got to listen to the music and dance. It made their day when they heard their names said over the speakers. Beverly was downstairs sleeping because her job is..... well...... I think I will skip out on this subject because it does tend to piss me off and I'm in a good mood so I really don't want to ruin it right now. I think I need another dose of soup. Hold on a sec....... Need to go cook it.... Need it to cool down..... Theoretically she is going to part time hours soon. She told me that in September she is only going to be working two days a week. Friday and Saturday on the grave shift. Sounds like it will be easy enough for her to handle. She is also supposedly not working any other shift nor working any other days. I'll believe that when I see it though.
She is currently on a road trip with one of her friends. They are taking a 14 hour round trip down to southern Oregon to pick up a dog. She hasn't slept the last couple days. Well, slept for more than a few hours for a nap. She got home from work and went all impromptu which usually isn't like her. It's whatever. Hopefully, they make it back in time for me to go to work in the morning. I have money that says I am going to come home from work tomorrow to her sleeping on the couch. My entire paycheck says that is what is going to happen. It's like I know my wife or something.
Is it bad that I slowly count down the hours until bedtime for my kids? It's not that I don't like them, I think it's just that I'm getting older and the only thing I have been wanting to do recently is sleep. I am actually surprised that the last couple days I have gotten to sleep in. Yesterday, I got up before all of the kids. Surprised the hell out of me. I drank my coffee in peace and I even got to watch about half of the 1989 Batman before they all got up and came downstairs. This whole having an extra room upstairs for all of their toys makes things so much easier. If they are all upstairs, then I can watch whatever I want to watch. I do need to get a universal remote for the play room though so that we can have them start watching their movies and stuff upstairs. Then again, getting a new TV for mine and the wife's room sounds like a better idea. That way there they can have a bigger TV and a built in DVD player. Currently, they have my XBox 360 in there as it is collecting dust. I haven't played on it in god knows how long. I think I will hook it up to my TV in my bedroom tonight and play some on it. Although I do need to get my games and controller back from one of my wife's friends since she borrowed some stuff from me.
Well, I guess that it is for this post here in the Arena. It is time for me to get back to being a dad and stop spacing out here on the computer. All I keep hearing is the fighting going on on the TV which means that the Netflix is getting its use out of us. We totally got rid of cable since we pretty much watch everything on the Playstation anyways. Off to go find myself something to watch.
I'm out!!!!
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Easy Saturdays are the best
It's another Saturday that has given us sunshine and warm weather. It also gave me a chance to catch up on housework and other things that were needing my attention. Nothing better than getting a nice day to do the simple things and relax. As of right now, I have laundry going and the TV is equipped with the Netflix that has been streaming Fraiser for the last couple of hours.
There seems to be a method that goes with being able to be caught up with stuff that makes a day easier. I spent the morning doing a quick cleaning of the kitchen and I dabbled in the dishes. Some of the dishes still need to be done, but I moved on to the living room so that I could at least show progress to my lady since she got up around 4 this morning to go to work. It's this new schedule thing that she is trying out. It gives her Thursday and Friday off so that she can hang out with the boys and whatnot so that she isn't always at work. I enjoy it since I know that I will get her during the week instead of worrying about when her days off are.
She also put in her notice at work telling them that she is quitting in September. She will be full time for a little while longer and then she will start cutting back her hours at the restaurant and be part time. I can't wait until that happens because I do enjoy her being home as much as I like her earning her own money. The part time will be nice because she will be at home a lot more than normal. She will still have days where she works, but I think that she is going to only be working for 3 or 4 days out of the week. Once September rolls around she will go back to being a stay-at-home mom. I'm excited for that because then I know that she will be happy and hopefully start regaining her health so that she isn't always so stressed out and sore. I do hope that it will help her be able to sleep at night because she has been having issues with that recently.
I would like to make this a little longer, but I do have to finish some of the laundry and get ready to start supper. Plus, I know that the radio show is coming on later tonight so I want to be present for that as well. There are so many things that I would like to do tonight, but I do have chores that I need to get done so that everything can be done for tomorrow. With that information, I gotta go and I will be back later to talk at you some more.
I'm OUT!!!
There seems to be a method that goes with being able to be caught up with stuff that makes a day easier. I spent the morning doing a quick cleaning of the kitchen and I dabbled in the dishes. Some of the dishes still need to be done, but I moved on to the living room so that I could at least show progress to my lady since she got up around 4 this morning to go to work. It's this new schedule thing that she is trying out. It gives her Thursday and Friday off so that she can hang out with the boys and whatnot so that she isn't always at work. I enjoy it since I know that I will get her during the week instead of worrying about when her days off are.
She also put in her notice at work telling them that she is quitting in September. She will be full time for a little while longer and then she will start cutting back her hours at the restaurant and be part time. I can't wait until that happens because I do enjoy her being home as much as I like her earning her own money. The part time will be nice because she will be at home a lot more than normal. She will still have days where she works, but I think that she is going to only be working for 3 or 4 days out of the week. Once September rolls around she will go back to being a stay-at-home mom. I'm excited for that because then I know that she will be happy and hopefully start regaining her health so that she isn't always so stressed out and sore. I do hope that it will help her be able to sleep at night because she has been having issues with that recently.
I would like to make this a little longer, but I do have to finish some of the laundry and get ready to start supper. Plus, I know that the radio show is coming on later tonight so I want to be present for that as well. There are so many things that I would like to do tonight, but I do have chores that I need to get done so that everything can be done for tomorrow. With that information, I gotta go and I will be back later to talk at you some more.
I'm OUT!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
As I Reflect
As I reflect on everything that has gone on in my life, whether it was good or bad, I look to the one positive thing that has rung true for the last decade. Today marks my 10 year Naval anniversary. Uncle Sam and I have been steady for the last 10 years. Last Friday, I told the Uncle that I would give him another 4 years of service. There was a little bit of paperwork, a lot of pictures and handshakes, congratulations all around. It felt good to tack on another 4 years to an already extensive contract.
Now one might say, "Josh, it's only been 10 years" to which my retort would be, "That's like an eternity some days." Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have done more than my initial enlistment if I didn't like my job and the loads of fun that can be had beneath the waves, but there are just days that are worse than others. It is that way with every job. You just have to find more good moments than bad. Ten years ago today, I was sitting in a classroom at RTC Great Lakes getting a routine "YFG" speech from a Chief. The division was fresh of the bus and working through fatigue since we had a late night flight from wherever it was we were coming from. We all arrived on a charter bus at around midnight. Most of us slept on the bus that took us from the airport to the base. When we finally stopped, most of us were ripped from our pleasant dreams of home and when we would see it again by the yelling of grown men telling us to "MOVE MOVE MOVE!!" There really was no questioning anything that they were saying. It was just do it as fast as possible so that the yelling would quit. They got us lined up and in ranks. The yelling continued and then we were marched into a room with a plethora of pay phones. As a parent of four children, I dread the day that there is a possibility of getting that late night phone call that says my child is dead. I dread it severely. It might never happen in my lifetime, but you stay on your toes. I had to call my mom and dad at like 1 or 2 in the morning to tell them that I arrived at RTC safe and sound and that I wasn't sure when I would talk to them again. I told them that I loved them and that I would see them again soon. The rest of that day was spent running to every place that the Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs) needed to take us to get us checked in and our careers started. There was no sleeping AT ALL during that first day. There was an assembly line of doctors that gave us shots, dentists that looked at our teeth, people shepherding us around to get our uniforms, and then more running with a seabag on our backs.
After a full 20 hours of being awake and moving, we finally got to set up our racks and settle down for the night. That night was definitely a night that I remember sleeping good. Things got progressively harder as boot camp wore on, but I will never forget that first day. From there I moved on to BESS in Connecticut and further on from there to my first submarine. The rest is, how they say, history for me. I have been thriving and succeeding as much as I can for the last 10 years. I have fallen and failed on more than one occasion. It's just part of life. I have met a lot of people along the way. I thank most of them for helping me get to where I am. Without their tutelage, I wouldn't have made it past my first enlistment. I consider a lot of the people that have crossed my path to be brothers and a few sisters. I served onboard a submarine with women on it. It wasn't as bad as a lot of you would make it out to be. I'm under the belief that as long as a person does their job, I don't care if they are male or female.
So enjoy the quick trip into my past and I hope that you spend some time reflecting on your past and seeing what it was that led you to the place that you are today. There is nothing better than looking back at all of the fun memories that life can bring you. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and we will see you back again for the next issue of The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Now one might say, "Josh, it's only been 10 years" to which my retort would be, "That's like an eternity some days." Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have done more than my initial enlistment if I didn't like my job and the loads of fun that can be had beneath the waves, but there are just days that are worse than others. It is that way with every job. You just have to find more good moments than bad. Ten years ago today, I was sitting in a classroom at RTC Great Lakes getting a routine "YFG" speech from a Chief. The division was fresh of the bus and working through fatigue since we had a late night flight from wherever it was we were coming from. We all arrived on a charter bus at around midnight. Most of us slept on the bus that took us from the airport to the base. When we finally stopped, most of us were ripped from our pleasant dreams of home and when we would see it again by the yelling of grown men telling us to "MOVE MOVE MOVE!!" There really was no questioning anything that they were saying. It was just do it as fast as possible so that the yelling would quit. They got us lined up and in ranks. The yelling continued and then we were marched into a room with a plethora of pay phones. As a parent of four children, I dread the day that there is a possibility of getting that late night phone call that says my child is dead. I dread it severely. It might never happen in my lifetime, but you stay on your toes. I had to call my mom and dad at like 1 or 2 in the morning to tell them that I arrived at RTC safe and sound and that I wasn't sure when I would talk to them again. I told them that I loved them and that I would see them again soon. The rest of that day was spent running to every place that the Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs) needed to take us to get us checked in and our careers started. There was no sleeping AT ALL during that first day. There was an assembly line of doctors that gave us shots, dentists that looked at our teeth, people shepherding us around to get our uniforms, and then more running with a seabag on our backs.
After a full 20 hours of being awake and moving, we finally got to set up our racks and settle down for the night. That night was definitely a night that I remember sleeping good. Things got progressively harder as boot camp wore on, but I will never forget that first day. From there I moved on to BESS in Connecticut and further on from there to my first submarine. The rest is, how they say, history for me. I have been thriving and succeeding as much as I can for the last 10 years. I have fallen and failed on more than one occasion. It's just part of life. I have met a lot of people along the way. I thank most of them for helping me get to where I am. Without their tutelage, I wouldn't have made it past my first enlistment. I consider a lot of the people that have crossed my path to be brothers and a few sisters. I served onboard a submarine with women on it. It wasn't as bad as a lot of you would make it out to be. I'm under the belief that as long as a person does their job, I don't care if they are male or female.
So enjoy the quick trip into my past and I hope that you spend some time reflecting on your past and seeing what it was that led you to the place that you are today. There is nothing better than looking back at all of the fun memories that life can bring you. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and we will see you back again for the next issue of The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Friday, June 5, 2015
Bad Things Come in Threes
Hello again everyone and welcome back to the Arena. Today marks edition number 94 and it is a sad one. So let's just get started.
There is a saying that all bad things happen in threes. I can now confirm that this is probably one of the truest statements ever spoken by anyone. I have been around and lived through a lot of bad things in my life. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. Some of the best people that I have known have been tragically taken from me either at such a young age or it was their time to go. I don't fear death nor do I fear the loss of a great thing. I have said goodbye to shipmates that were like family to me. I've had to say goodbye to family members that I wasn't ready to lose. I have been divorced once and was on the verge of a second one.
As you can see, I am no stranger to heartache and loss. I have persevered through it all because I have found the bright side of things and was able to press on with the ability to bottle it up all inside. There was always a point in time that I was inconsolable to the loss, but I was able to pull through with the help of others. I have fought tooth and nail to recover what I assumed to be a lost cause between my wife and I. This year alone, since 2015 started, has been one that has been filled with loads of frustration and heartache. Between the wife having to go through so many medical problems that it just seems like they will never end to the events of last night and early this morning, I just feel like I am numb from head to toe.
It all started last night when I got the text from my wife telling me that my oldest stepson has broken another bone. Well, two bones to be exact. According to his dad (we share custody with his dad), they were goofing around last night before bed and I guess Carter fell down just right to snap both of the bones in his lower arm just behind the wrist. They took x-rays and they are out at the doctor's office now to rebreak and reset the bones so that they can heal. He will get to spend the summer in a cast, which for him is going to suck. I know what it is like to do that. I remember breaking my arm in 6th grade. That was the worst 8 weeks of my life. Boot camp was easier that having to deal with all of the itching and being one handed. So he might have to miss out on some of the fun things that we have planned for the summer. This was bad news #1.
Bad news #2 came a few hours later when I got the message that my wife separated her right shoulder while trying to hold down her son. He was fighting the sedation that they were trying to give him to help ease his pain. For being 9 years old, he is a strong kid. I can't even say he his little because he isn't. He stands just under 4'7" and weighs roughly 120 pounds. He's a big kid for that age. I guess with all of the struggling in trying to keep him still, he managed to work her shoulder in just the right way to knock it out of place. So, after Carter and his dad went home, she got to stay and get her shoulder looked at. She still plans to go to work tonight and in the coming days because she is one tough cookie. I honestly have no idea how she does it. She is an incredibly unyielding woman. I really do admire her strength and courage to continue being the best that she can be when being dealt the hand that she has. She is currently at the hospital with Carter while they try to fix his arm. Hopefully, they won't have a need to do surgery. I will know more in a few short hours.
Around 3 in the morning here on the west coast was when I received the 3rd and final string of bad news that is probably the worst that anybody can get. I had been in and out of sleep for about an hour or so at this point because I wanted to be able to respond to my wife with everything that was going on. My phone went off with a saying from Final Fantasy Advent Children (one of my favorite movies). It's the default alert so I just assumed that it was my wife telling me what was going on. Instead it was from my father telling me that his mom, my grandmother, was gone from this world. Now, being half asleep, I was able to give a response that expressed some of my condolences. It wasn't that I was being heartless, it was just not something that I was expecting to see that early in the morning. I spent the next two and a half hours tossing and turning with my mind racing. I was unable to really get back to the REM sleep. At five thirty, my alarm went off and that was when I commenced with the numerous phone calls that I needed to make that early in the morning. My first call was to my LPO to inform him of what happened. He got the information that I needed to relay and I was excused from work. About an hour or so later, my phone started ringing again with the need of my presence on the line. This time, it was my LCPO trying to get more information from me and trying to get me the things that I needed to make sure that I was going to be alright. I gave him the same information and explanations with the information that I currently had at that time. After phone call, I made another futile attempt to sleep. My mind wasn't having any of that. It kept telling me that there was more that needed to be done and I needed to do it quickly. I had reset my alarm to seven thirty so that I could be awake to support getting Eli to school since my wife didn't get home until around five this morning after everything was all said and done. I was able to get him off to school with no issues and I have been up and out of bed since then. I made more phone calls to my Chief to give him some updated information. I called my dad to confirm some of the information so that I could pass it along. I called my duty section leader so that he knew what was going on. I spoke with my LPO again to give him a better update of the current situation since he got his ass chewed for not getting all of the information that he needed when I talked to him the first time this morning. He's new to the job so I don't blame him for not knowing everything to ask when this situation arises. He's an E-5 like I am. He hasn't had to experience a phone call like the one I gave him this morning. I even called to set up another appointment to speak with my psychologist because I know that I will need to get this off my chest at some point and she will give some insight to what I will come to experience with the coming weeks as I work through all of this.
I feel bad because it has been so long since I last talked to my grandmother. The last time I spoke to her was a little over a year ago. She was visiting my both of my uncles down in Florida like she loved doing. It was a simple visit. My Uncle Tim contacted me via Skype and my phone battery was dying even while it was connected to the charger. I sat and spoke with her as long as could because of the battery situation. My mind wasn't really into the conversation either because I was dealing with everything that was going on between my wife and I at the same time. What is really making me feel bad is that I never got to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. My phone kept cutting in and out and it completely died before we could finish our chat. She was such an awesome lady. I remember when she had her first stroke. It was the one that started it all. She lost the function of her left arm, but she always tried to have a smile on her face. It was almost 20 years ago when that happened. I remember my Uncle +Chuck Bisbee coming to live with us and sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was a bedtime ritual for me to lay out his blankets before I went to bed so that he could have a semi-comfortable place to sleep when he got home from work late at night. My dog, Midnight would keep him company. He would wake up with me in the mornings and we would ride our bikes to our respective schools. He was going through art school at the time and I was still in elementary school. He wasn't really a morning person. He still isn't if you are wondering. He is the best uncle in the entire world. Don't care what you say, nothing will take his place. Even through her divorce from my grandfather, she still managed to show her love and compassion for us. She always tried to have a smile and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. My grandfather took his own life a few years after her first stroke. Suicide and I aren't really good friends. While he was a gruff and stern individual, he was still my grandfather. I was 15 or 16 when that happened. She then met a kind and gentle man that I have the great pleasure to call my stepgrandfather. He loved her so much and treated her like a queen. He really is a great man. It was sad to hear that he had to put her into a nursing home because he couldn't take care of her anymore. My sympathies go out to him because he loved her so much. I know that she is now in a better place and that when I look around that I will catch a glimmer of her in a smile or the way my mother in-law cares for my own children. I will miss her and she will not be forgotten.
So as you can see, the bad things come in threes. I have been able to keep my mind busy most of the morning, but I knew that I had to get this out eventually. My words here can't express all of my feelings because I'm still having trouble finding all of the right words myself. I don't like seeing my child (even if he is a stepchild) hurt. I don't like seeing my wife hurt. No one likes knowing that a loved one has passed over to a place that none of us can fathom. The point of all of this is that somewhere along the way, things will start looking up and I am going to get through this. It is just something that I have to face and push through. So once I finish posting this, I will be off to continue keeping my mind occupied. I'm trying really hard to not lose it in front of my kids. I'm not trying to hide anything from them. I just don't think that they really need to worry about what is going on right now. They need to focus on being kids and having fun and playing. I can take time out for me at the end of the day when I'm in the sanctuary of my bedroom tonight. It's just really hard to keep the emotions at bay unless I am actively doing something. With that being said, I bid you all a farewell and I hope that your Friday passes smoothly and without incident. Remember to tell the ones you love what they mean to you. You never know when it could be the last chance you get to do it. Live for the day and worry about tomorrow when it comes.
*Drops the mic and walks out of the Arena*
Wickid
There is a saying that all bad things happen in threes. I can now confirm that this is probably one of the truest statements ever spoken by anyone. I have been around and lived through a lot of bad things in my life. I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. Some of the best people that I have known have been tragically taken from me either at such a young age or it was their time to go. I don't fear death nor do I fear the loss of a great thing. I have said goodbye to shipmates that were like family to me. I've had to say goodbye to family members that I wasn't ready to lose. I have been divorced once and was on the verge of a second one.
As you can see, I am no stranger to heartache and loss. I have persevered through it all because I have found the bright side of things and was able to press on with the ability to bottle it up all inside. There was always a point in time that I was inconsolable to the loss, but I was able to pull through with the help of others. I have fought tooth and nail to recover what I assumed to be a lost cause between my wife and I. This year alone, since 2015 started, has been one that has been filled with loads of frustration and heartache. Between the wife having to go through so many medical problems that it just seems like they will never end to the events of last night and early this morning, I just feel like I am numb from head to toe.
It all started last night when I got the text from my wife telling me that my oldest stepson has broken another bone. Well, two bones to be exact. According to his dad (we share custody with his dad), they were goofing around last night before bed and I guess Carter fell down just right to snap both of the bones in his lower arm just behind the wrist. They took x-rays and they are out at the doctor's office now to rebreak and reset the bones so that they can heal. He will get to spend the summer in a cast, which for him is going to suck. I know what it is like to do that. I remember breaking my arm in 6th grade. That was the worst 8 weeks of my life. Boot camp was easier that having to deal with all of the itching and being one handed. So he might have to miss out on some of the fun things that we have planned for the summer. This was bad news #1.
Bad news #2 came a few hours later when I got the message that my wife separated her right shoulder while trying to hold down her son. He was fighting the sedation that they were trying to give him to help ease his pain. For being 9 years old, he is a strong kid. I can't even say he his little because he isn't. He stands just under 4'7" and weighs roughly 120 pounds. He's a big kid for that age. I guess with all of the struggling in trying to keep him still, he managed to work her shoulder in just the right way to knock it out of place. So, after Carter and his dad went home, she got to stay and get her shoulder looked at. She still plans to go to work tonight and in the coming days because she is one tough cookie. I honestly have no idea how she does it. She is an incredibly unyielding woman. I really do admire her strength and courage to continue being the best that she can be when being dealt the hand that she has. She is currently at the hospital with Carter while they try to fix his arm. Hopefully, they won't have a need to do surgery. I will know more in a few short hours.
Around 3 in the morning here on the west coast was when I received the 3rd and final string of bad news that is probably the worst that anybody can get. I had been in and out of sleep for about an hour or so at this point because I wanted to be able to respond to my wife with everything that was going on. My phone went off with a saying from Final Fantasy Advent Children (one of my favorite movies). It's the default alert so I just assumed that it was my wife telling me what was going on. Instead it was from my father telling me that his mom, my grandmother, was gone from this world. Now, being half asleep, I was able to give a response that expressed some of my condolences. It wasn't that I was being heartless, it was just not something that I was expecting to see that early in the morning. I spent the next two and a half hours tossing and turning with my mind racing. I was unable to really get back to the REM sleep. At five thirty, my alarm went off and that was when I commenced with the numerous phone calls that I needed to make that early in the morning. My first call was to my LPO to inform him of what happened. He got the information that I needed to relay and I was excused from work. About an hour or so later, my phone started ringing again with the need of my presence on the line. This time, it was my LCPO trying to get more information from me and trying to get me the things that I needed to make sure that I was going to be alright. I gave him the same information and explanations with the information that I currently had at that time. After phone call, I made another futile attempt to sleep. My mind wasn't having any of that. It kept telling me that there was more that needed to be done and I needed to do it quickly. I had reset my alarm to seven thirty so that I could be awake to support getting Eli to school since my wife didn't get home until around five this morning after everything was all said and done. I was able to get him off to school with no issues and I have been up and out of bed since then. I made more phone calls to my Chief to give him some updated information. I called my dad to confirm some of the information so that I could pass it along. I called my duty section leader so that he knew what was going on. I spoke with my LPO again to give him a better update of the current situation since he got his ass chewed for not getting all of the information that he needed when I talked to him the first time this morning. He's new to the job so I don't blame him for not knowing everything to ask when this situation arises. He's an E-5 like I am. He hasn't had to experience a phone call like the one I gave him this morning. I even called to set up another appointment to speak with my psychologist because I know that I will need to get this off my chest at some point and she will give some insight to what I will come to experience with the coming weeks as I work through all of this.
I feel bad because it has been so long since I last talked to my grandmother. The last time I spoke to her was a little over a year ago. She was visiting my both of my uncles down in Florida like she loved doing. It was a simple visit. My Uncle Tim contacted me via Skype and my phone battery was dying even while it was connected to the charger. I sat and spoke with her as long as could because of the battery situation. My mind wasn't really into the conversation either because I was dealing with everything that was going on between my wife and I at the same time. What is really making me feel bad is that I never got to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. My phone kept cutting in and out and it completely died before we could finish our chat. She was such an awesome lady. I remember when she had her first stroke. It was the one that started it all. She lost the function of her left arm, but she always tried to have a smile on her face. It was almost 20 years ago when that happened. I remember my Uncle +Chuck Bisbee coming to live with us and sleeping on my bedroom floor. It was a bedtime ritual for me to lay out his blankets before I went to bed so that he could have a semi-comfortable place to sleep when he got home from work late at night. My dog, Midnight would keep him company. He would wake up with me in the mornings and we would ride our bikes to our respective schools. He was going through art school at the time and I was still in elementary school. He wasn't really a morning person. He still isn't if you are wondering. He is the best uncle in the entire world. Don't care what you say, nothing will take his place. Even through her divorce from my grandfather, she still managed to show her love and compassion for us. She always tried to have a smile and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. My grandfather took his own life a few years after her first stroke. Suicide and I aren't really good friends. While he was a gruff and stern individual, he was still my grandfather. I was 15 or 16 when that happened. She then met a kind and gentle man that I have the great pleasure to call my stepgrandfather. He loved her so much and treated her like a queen. He really is a great man. It was sad to hear that he had to put her into a nursing home because he couldn't take care of her anymore. My sympathies go out to him because he loved her so much. I know that she is now in a better place and that when I look around that I will catch a glimmer of her in a smile or the way my mother in-law cares for my own children. I will miss her and she will not be forgotten.
So as you can see, the bad things come in threes. I have been able to keep my mind busy most of the morning, but I knew that I had to get this out eventually. My words here can't express all of my feelings because I'm still having trouble finding all of the right words myself. I don't like seeing my child (even if he is a stepchild) hurt. I don't like seeing my wife hurt. No one likes knowing that a loved one has passed over to a place that none of us can fathom. The point of all of this is that somewhere along the way, things will start looking up and I am going to get through this. It is just something that I have to face and push through. So once I finish posting this, I will be off to continue keeping my mind occupied. I'm trying really hard to not lose it in front of my kids. I'm not trying to hide anything from them. I just don't think that they really need to worry about what is going on right now. They need to focus on being kids and having fun and playing. I can take time out for me at the end of the day when I'm in the sanctuary of my bedroom tonight. It's just really hard to keep the emotions at bay unless I am actively doing something. With that being said, I bid you all a farewell and I hope that your Friday passes smoothly and without incident. Remember to tell the ones you love what they mean to you. You never know when it could be the last chance you get to do it. Live for the day and worry about tomorrow when it comes.
*Drops the mic and walks out of the Arena*
Wickid
Sunday, May 31, 2015
End of May
It is Sunday the final day of the month of May in the year of 2015. We are back again for issue 93 of The Arena. We are one day closer to no more school for my children and another day closer to the beginning of football season. I'm so excited to get the season started again. There are a lot of things that you guys have missed that I will now have the joy of updating you about.
Since last Saturday, a lot of things have happened. I got a nice 4 day weekend last weekend due to some well placed cleaning and a few shenanigans later. I do love a good scam to get out of things. It makes me enjoy being part of something with people of the same mindset. So I spent the weekend with the kids and they spent some time outside. My wife spent most of the time at work since she, you know, has responsibilities and such. So I got to spend a lot of time at home with the children being able to watch TV and play with toys and such. I spent some of my time hanging out and relaxing, but I even did some chores around the house just because they needed to be done and I was going to be the one to do them. I even was nice enough to do some dishes and cook some dinner. Tuesday through Thursday passed by with a quickness. I lost those three days because I wasn't really paying attention. Work flew by and I was in and out like the flash. Wednesday was an easy-ish day because I went to work with a horrible stomach and I was home about 20 to 30 minutes later. I have a civilian supervisor that is nice enough to notice when people are sick and sends them home so that nobody else gets infected. So I got lucky enough to spend Wednesday at home. I tried going back to sleep when I got home, but the kids got up relatively early for school and I went downstairs and was able to fall asleep again until about ten thirty. The TV and Netflix was my savior for the little boys. They do love being able to watch their kiddie shows.
As I lay here in bed trying to focus on this and remember the events of the week, I find myself distracted by watching M.A.S.H. on Netflix. I'm in season 10 out of 11 so I am finally almost done. Thursday was spent doing menial paperwork and randomly walking around doing random things. Friday, I spent the day quickly doing a cleanup followed by a trip home to get changed and I headed out to Tacoma with my buddy so that we could go to my Chief's re-enlistment ceremony. We got treated to some wings and some potato wedges. Came home to a nice nap that lasted all of two and half hours because I had to take my sister in-law back to her apartment. She came over long enough to watch the dogs so that they weren't outside in the heat all day. I know that I said heat. It has been a decent week or so with nice sunshine and some high temperatures. I took her home and made it back in time for my buddy to come back to the house to pick me up so that we could make our way through the Friday afternoon traffic all the way to Kent so that we could be present for an LFL game. Basically, its a football game with women in pads and sports bras and boy shorts. Pretty much lingerie without it being all super sexy like. I was actually surprised to see those women going hard and playing like they meant it. They were beating the hell out of each other. It was fabulous. The quarters were only ten minutes long and it was a good ten minutes. The quarterback for the visiting team had an arm on her. She threw two long bombs that went for touchdowns. Now to set the stage, has any of you seen arena football? A 50 yard long field with the 25 yard line being midfield. They were on the 15 on their side of the field. She chucked this ball 30 yards and the receiver did the rest of the work. I was really impressed with the game. I think I might find a way to go back so that I can get better acquainted with the game. I think I might even convince the wife to go with me so that she can enjoy the game too. Those girls were even muscle-y and stuff. Like 8 abs on their stomachs. I gotta go back. The tickets were rather cheap too. Must research the schedule and stuff. Saturday came and went like a flash as well. I think I spent some of the afternoon playing Monster Hunter. I had to put in some work, leave me alone. I need some finger exercises to keep me fresh. That and I really do like playing that game.
It is time however, for me to get off here and turn the light off so that I can find a way to get some shut eye before my lovely lady comes and joins me in bed for the night. I swear that woman works too hard. Lucky for her, she gets tomorrow off. I can't wait until she doesn't have to work much anymore so that I can sleep with her every night. I do like the snuggles. With that, I bid you a good evening and good morning(depending on your location) and I will see you again in Episode 94 when I return to The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Since last Saturday, a lot of things have happened. I got a nice 4 day weekend last weekend due to some well placed cleaning and a few shenanigans later. I do love a good scam to get out of things. It makes me enjoy being part of something with people of the same mindset. So I spent the weekend with the kids and they spent some time outside. My wife spent most of the time at work since she, you know, has responsibilities and such. So I got to spend a lot of time at home with the children being able to watch TV and play with toys and such. I spent some of my time hanging out and relaxing, but I even did some chores around the house just because they needed to be done and I was going to be the one to do them. I even was nice enough to do some dishes and cook some dinner. Tuesday through Thursday passed by with a quickness. I lost those three days because I wasn't really paying attention. Work flew by and I was in and out like the flash. Wednesday was an easy-ish day because I went to work with a horrible stomach and I was home about 20 to 30 minutes later. I have a civilian supervisor that is nice enough to notice when people are sick and sends them home so that nobody else gets infected. So I got lucky enough to spend Wednesday at home. I tried going back to sleep when I got home, but the kids got up relatively early for school and I went downstairs and was able to fall asleep again until about ten thirty. The TV and Netflix was my savior for the little boys. They do love being able to watch their kiddie shows.
As I lay here in bed trying to focus on this and remember the events of the week, I find myself distracted by watching M.A.S.H. on Netflix. I'm in season 10 out of 11 so I am finally almost done. Thursday was spent doing menial paperwork and randomly walking around doing random things. Friday, I spent the day quickly doing a cleanup followed by a trip home to get changed and I headed out to Tacoma with my buddy so that we could go to my Chief's re-enlistment ceremony. We got treated to some wings and some potato wedges. Came home to a nice nap that lasted all of two and half hours because I had to take my sister in-law back to her apartment. She came over long enough to watch the dogs so that they weren't outside in the heat all day. I know that I said heat. It has been a decent week or so with nice sunshine and some high temperatures. I took her home and made it back in time for my buddy to come back to the house to pick me up so that we could make our way through the Friday afternoon traffic all the way to Kent so that we could be present for an LFL game. Basically, its a football game with women in pads and sports bras and boy shorts. Pretty much lingerie without it being all super sexy like. I was actually surprised to see those women going hard and playing like they meant it. They were beating the hell out of each other. It was fabulous. The quarters were only ten minutes long and it was a good ten minutes. The quarterback for the visiting team had an arm on her. She threw two long bombs that went for touchdowns. Now to set the stage, has any of you seen arena football? A 50 yard long field with the 25 yard line being midfield. They were on the 15 on their side of the field. She chucked this ball 30 yards and the receiver did the rest of the work. I was really impressed with the game. I think I might find a way to go back so that I can get better acquainted with the game. I think I might even convince the wife to go with me so that she can enjoy the game too. Those girls were even muscle-y and stuff. Like 8 abs on their stomachs. I gotta go back. The tickets were rather cheap too. Must research the schedule and stuff. Saturday came and went like a flash as well. I think I spent some of the afternoon playing Monster Hunter. I had to put in some work, leave me alone. I need some finger exercises to keep me fresh. That and I really do like playing that game.
It is time however, for me to get off here and turn the light off so that I can find a way to get some shut eye before my lovely lady comes and joins me in bed for the night. I swear that woman works too hard. Lucky for her, she gets tomorrow off. I can't wait until she doesn't have to work much anymore so that I can sleep with her every night. I do like the snuggles. With that, I bid you a good evening and good morning(depending on your location) and I will see you again in Episode 94 when I return to The Arena.
I'm out!!!
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Saturday Diligence
Welcome back everyone! We are here in the Arena for the 92nd time and we are enjoying a peaceful Saturday. The morning was spent in joyous bliss even right after I crawled out of bed. I had some coffee right after my morning cigarette and I proceeded to make breakfast. There was just something about this morning that made everything seem so much easier. I spent most of my morning doing typical household chores and making sure that things were cleaned up and good to go. It made my wife happy when she came downstairs. I was even nice enough to bring her breakfast in bed. So she got a nice wake up call this morning. I hope she appreciated it.
We had a quick lunch today and then we finished up the last of what we needed to do chore wise. The living room and the couch are now clean. Much better than what they have been for the last week. Now we are all scattered about the living room with Batman: The Movie playing on the TV. You know, the one with Adam West and Burt Ward. The kids have requested a "Bat-a-thon" and I am definitely not one to deny them that. As much as I am a Batman fan, I still look at this movie in wonder and I love it. Even if it does look a little corny and I am no longer a child that is in awe of it's awesomeness. Oh is it cheesy, but the kids and I love it. I just might be nice enough to watch as many as possible before it is time to take the boys up for drowning tonight. What makes this movie even more ridiculous is the way the used footage of an actual Polaris missile to write a riddle in the sky with perfect letters. I still love my Batman movies though.
I think that I can make this a short one since I am supposed to be spending time with my kids watching movies. Even in the older one, the romance between Batman and Catwoman was very present. Now time for me to get back to the movies. See you guys and gals later! Don't forget to tune into B2kradio.com later tonight so that your eardrums can get some good tunes to soothe you after a long day.
I'm out!!
We had a quick lunch today and then we finished up the last of what we needed to do chore wise. The living room and the couch are now clean. Much better than what they have been for the last week. Now we are all scattered about the living room with Batman: The Movie playing on the TV. You know, the one with Adam West and Burt Ward. The kids have requested a "Bat-a-thon" and I am definitely not one to deny them that. As much as I am a Batman fan, I still look at this movie in wonder and I love it. Even if it does look a little corny and I am no longer a child that is in awe of it's awesomeness. Oh is it cheesy, but the kids and I love it. I just might be nice enough to watch as many as possible before it is time to take the boys up for drowning tonight. What makes this movie even more ridiculous is the way the used footage of an actual Polaris missile to write a riddle in the sky with perfect letters. I still love my Batman movies though.
I think that I can make this a short one since I am supposed to be spending time with my kids watching movies. Even in the older one, the romance between Batman and Catwoman was very present. Now time for me to get back to the movies. See you guys and gals later! Don't forget to tune into B2kradio.com later tonight so that your eardrums can get some good tunes to soothe you after a long day.
I'm out!!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Massive Disdain
Welcome back ladies and gentleman! This is Wickid live on scene in the kitchen for the latest in the World of Wickid. Almost like WoW, but much better.
We are here for the 91st edition of The Arena and the cycle of fun starts again. Today I found out a multitude of things. Some of them good and some of them bad. I have had a perception shift with a few items that are in my life. Again, both good and bad. I just found out this morning that I did not make E-6 this time around. Another exam down and another round of PNA points. For those of you that are scratching your heads, PNA stands for Pass Not Advanced. It is what they give you as a consolation prize for not being good enough to make rank. There was 218 people that took the STS1 exam in March. Out of all of those people, only 28 were lucky enough to be "selected" as the new crop of First Class Petty Officers. It literally works out to a 12.84% chance of putting on the final chevron. While I was hopeful to be one of those twenty eight, deep down I had a feeling that I didn't do well enough to join the E-6 club. I was right. I can't even say that I was passed over because that's just it, I wasn't "passed" over, I just didn't score well enough on the test to make rank. So as I make supper for myself and the kids, I ponder about what could have been and what will hopefully be later in my career. I'm to the point now where I'm not running out of time, but it is coming down to the wire of what I want to do as opposed to what I need to do. Truth be told, I only have four years left of my career if I fail to make rank, which means that I just didn't have enough juice to finish the twenty that I want to do. Will that upset me? Of course it will! I have a goal and I would be rather distraught if I was to fail to meet it. I don't typically fail things. I miss the mark quite often, but it's rare that I fail. So I feel bad because I didn't make it. My wife would love to quit her job so that she can start being a stay at home mom again. As much as I like having the second income, I would rather her stay at home with the kids so that she isn't always stressed out and tired.
My children have also found a new way to frustrate me beyond all belief. Eli and Carter are the only children old enough to have homework from school. That is an obvious thing. Today after I got them home from school, they sat down to do homework because I totally forgot to have them do it over the course of the weekend. They get new homework packets on Thursday and have all week to complete them. Well, the weekend and the following Monday through Wednesday to get it all done. For some strange reason, both of them like to become lazy and try to get me to do their homework for them. As much as I love them and the fact that they are rather smart, it fills me with a sense of massive disdain that they try this on me. It is so frustrating to have to sit there and watch them purposefully get the answers wrong instead of doing the work. Yeah, I check their homework and I make sure they find their way to the correct answers so that they can get the best grade possible. I value education and I want them to have the best one possible. So when they decide that they want to be lazy, I get very upset at them. Some of Carter's work is actually a little weird to understand. I do some complicated stuff on the submarine when I am actually doing my job, but when I read some of his stuff, I have to read it about four time before I actually understand what it is that the question is requiring. So I know that he actually might have a little trouble understanding it, but Eli has some pretty easy work. Like really easy work. Things that even Damen can do right now and he is still in preschool. It might be an unfair advantage because of Damen having Autism and him learning things at a very rapid rate. There are still some things that he won't understand quite yet, but for the most part he can get almost anything for a first grader.
I was last on here a week ago and it seems like this has become the norm for me when it comes to you guys. I have tried to get on more often, but with the early mornings and the fact that by the time lunch rolls around I feel like I need to sleep for a good 12 hours before I can get anything accomplished. Now, ideally, I should already be used to this schedule with little problems staying awake until after the kids go to bed. Right now I am doing okay because I had just over seven hours of sleep last night. I also got to get up a half an hour later than I did yesterday. I do have plans to drown the little boys and then go lay down for the night. The big kids had their showers last night. I think that I have a good system going with staggering the bath nights for each group of boys. It definitely does make things easier. I'm not trying to rush 4 kids through the water in a single night.
I got introduced to another game yesterday thanks to a buddy of mine. It's a mobile game called AdVenture Capitalist. Look it up on the Google Play and try it out if you want. It's a rather easy game that is just there for me to burn up some time with when I'm not really doing anything. In fact, it is going right now while I sit here and type this all out for you guys. The basic premise of this game is that you are a poor man that starts out with a lemonade stand. You spend the profits upgrading this little stand until you buy a manager so that the timer goes down and repeats its process automatically. The more profit you make, the better the stuff you can buy. There are a total of ten different ways to gain money. You obviously have to get the profits to buy the better things. The more you upgrade your "businesses", the faster the timer goes and the faster you make money. You can even watch advertisements to gain a double profit bonus for four hours. You can only do this 5 times a day, but the 30 second advertisements are worth the four hour bonus. After you start making into the trillions of dollars, you start getting angels that you can sacrifice to "start all over again". It is worth starting over again because you make more money faster. Its a little difficult to explain. If you go to www.YouTube.com, you can find videos for the game. It is really fun. My friend has had the game for only like 2 weeks and he is into some seriously big worded monetary values. He makes more money than he spends in the game. It is rather amazing.
We also got custody of Feylin again. Due to the recent issues at my sister in-law's house, she has asked us to take care of him for a little while longer until she can get the rest of the deposit paid off for her apartment for him to reside there. I don't mind personally, but my wife has some few choice words that she is keeping to herself about it. She understands, but she isn't happy about it. We finally got Chloe (our dog) to get her house training under control and not to be a jealous little puppy. It was nice to only have to worry about one dog. I'm just ready to not have to worry about anybody else but my family. One day I won't have to worry about supporting other people. One day.
It is about that time for me to start drowning my littlest children so that I can get them into bed and the big kids can clean up. I'm so ready for this Hump Day to be over. At least I have lunch with my wife to look forward to tomorrow. Mongolian BBQ is so delicious!!
From the couch that is in the Arena, this is Wickid signing off. I'm out!!
We are here for the 91st edition of The Arena and the cycle of fun starts again. Today I found out a multitude of things. Some of them good and some of them bad. I have had a perception shift with a few items that are in my life. Again, both good and bad. I just found out this morning that I did not make E-6 this time around. Another exam down and another round of PNA points. For those of you that are scratching your heads, PNA stands for Pass Not Advanced. It is what they give you as a consolation prize for not being good enough to make rank. There was 218 people that took the STS1 exam in March. Out of all of those people, only 28 were lucky enough to be "selected" as the new crop of First Class Petty Officers. It literally works out to a 12.84% chance of putting on the final chevron. While I was hopeful to be one of those twenty eight, deep down I had a feeling that I didn't do well enough to join the E-6 club. I was right. I can't even say that I was passed over because that's just it, I wasn't "passed" over, I just didn't score well enough on the test to make rank. So as I make supper for myself and the kids, I ponder about what could have been and what will hopefully be later in my career. I'm to the point now where I'm not running out of time, but it is coming down to the wire of what I want to do as opposed to what I need to do. Truth be told, I only have four years left of my career if I fail to make rank, which means that I just didn't have enough juice to finish the twenty that I want to do. Will that upset me? Of course it will! I have a goal and I would be rather distraught if I was to fail to meet it. I don't typically fail things. I miss the mark quite often, but it's rare that I fail. So I feel bad because I didn't make it. My wife would love to quit her job so that she can start being a stay at home mom again. As much as I like having the second income, I would rather her stay at home with the kids so that she isn't always stressed out and tired.
My children have also found a new way to frustrate me beyond all belief. Eli and Carter are the only children old enough to have homework from school. That is an obvious thing. Today after I got them home from school, they sat down to do homework because I totally forgot to have them do it over the course of the weekend. They get new homework packets on Thursday and have all week to complete them. Well, the weekend and the following Monday through Wednesday to get it all done. For some strange reason, both of them like to become lazy and try to get me to do their homework for them. As much as I love them and the fact that they are rather smart, it fills me with a sense of massive disdain that they try this on me. It is so frustrating to have to sit there and watch them purposefully get the answers wrong instead of doing the work. Yeah, I check their homework and I make sure they find their way to the correct answers so that they can get the best grade possible. I value education and I want them to have the best one possible. So when they decide that they want to be lazy, I get very upset at them. Some of Carter's work is actually a little weird to understand. I do some complicated stuff on the submarine when I am actually doing my job, but when I read some of his stuff, I have to read it about four time before I actually understand what it is that the question is requiring. So I know that he actually might have a little trouble understanding it, but Eli has some pretty easy work. Like really easy work. Things that even Damen can do right now and he is still in preschool. It might be an unfair advantage because of Damen having Autism and him learning things at a very rapid rate. There are still some things that he won't understand quite yet, but for the most part he can get almost anything for a first grader.
I was last on here a week ago and it seems like this has become the norm for me when it comes to you guys. I have tried to get on more often, but with the early mornings and the fact that by the time lunch rolls around I feel like I need to sleep for a good 12 hours before I can get anything accomplished. Now, ideally, I should already be used to this schedule with little problems staying awake until after the kids go to bed. Right now I am doing okay because I had just over seven hours of sleep last night. I also got to get up a half an hour later than I did yesterday. I do have plans to drown the little boys and then go lay down for the night. The big kids had their showers last night. I think that I have a good system going with staggering the bath nights for each group of boys. It definitely does make things easier. I'm not trying to rush 4 kids through the water in a single night.
I got introduced to another game yesterday thanks to a buddy of mine. It's a mobile game called AdVenture Capitalist. Look it up on the Google Play and try it out if you want. It's a rather easy game that is just there for me to burn up some time with when I'm not really doing anything. In fact, it is going right now while I sit here and type this all out for you guys. The basic premise of this game is that you are a poor man that starts out with a lemonade stand. You spend the profits upgrading this little stand until you buy a manager so that the timer goes down and repeats its process automatically. The more profit you make, the better the stuff you can buy. There are a total of ten different ways to gain money. You obviously have to get the profits to buy the better things. The more you upgrade your "businesses", the faster the timer goes and the faster you make money. You can even watch advertisements to gain a double profit bonus for four hours. You can only do this 5 times a day, but the 30 second advertisements are worth the four hour bonus. After you start making into the trillions of dollars, you start getting angels that you can sacrifice to "start all over again". It is worth starting over again because you make more money faster. Its a little difficult to explain. If you go to www.YouTube.com, you can find videos for the game. It is really fun. My friend has had the game for only like 2 weeks and he is into some seriously big worded monetary values. He makes more money than he spends in the game. It is rather amazing.
We also got custody of Feylin again. Due to the recent issues at my sister in-law's house, she has asked us to take care of him for a little while longer until she can get the rest of the deposit paid off for her apartment for him to reside there. I don't mind personally, but my wife has some few choice words that she is keeping to herself about it. She understands, but she isn't happy about it. We finally got Chloe (our dog) to get her house training under control and not to be a jealous little puppy. It was nice to only have to worry about one dog. I'm just ready to not have to worry about anybody else but my family. One day I won't have to worry about supporting other people. One day.
It is about that time for me to start drowning my littlest children so that I can get them into bed and the big kids can clean up. I'm so ready for this Hump Day to be over. At least I have lunch with my wife to look forward to tomorrow. Mongolian BBQ is so delicious!!
From the couch that is in the Arena, this is Wickid signing off. I'm out!!
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